Julie Carter

Welcome to the West as I see it

Within these pages, you will find the end result of a lot of living and laughing, finally put between book covers to share with the world. A laugh is never a better laugh than when it can be shared and shared again.

I hope you choose to own a copy of my book, Cowgirl Sass and Savvy. It is a selection of some of the first stories individually published in a syndicated column by the same name that I have written weekly since 2002. They offer you a peek into ranch and cowboy life that isn't what you see as you drive by or what you read in the glossy slick magazines selling cowboy clothes, furniture and adventures.

And most of all, I hope the stories bring you, at the very least, a smile and a good laugh. No better gift could I offer you.

I also offer you a glimpse of this rural area as I see it through my camera lens. Shop the Mercantile page for posters that I have combined my photography with words I have written. Also there are calendars showcasing some of my favorite photos from this year. A link to my landscape photography website will let you browse through what I see when I travel down the dirt roads of the West.


Julie's Weblog

April 20, 2008

Pearls of wisdom

Filed under: General — Julie Carter @ 8:38 pm

 “Mama, when I grow up, I’m gonna be a cowboy.”

“Make up your mind son, because you can’t do both.”

April 19, 2008

Reasons not to assault a ranch woman

Filed under: General — Julie Carter @ 10:56 am

This story was written by a friend of mine, Welda Grider, published in a local newspaper and has quickly made the rounds of the internet. It’s too good not to continue its path around the world.  Julie Carter

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Reasons not to assault a ranch woman
By Welda McKinley Grider

Violence does not scare us. We ride 1,500 pound horses and stare down an alley full of mad, snot-slinging cows that weigh over 800 pounds. We’ve held down calves that outweigh you by four times.

Don’t try to intimidate us. Most of our husbands stand a head and shoulders taller,outweigh us by 100 pounds and we aren’t scared of them.

Why would be we be frightened by someone who can’t keep their pants up?

Every time we work cows, our husbands threaten us if we don’t get out of the gate. They threaten us if we don’t stay in the gate.We are pretty much not impressed by threats.

Plus, if you get much closer we may give you some threats of our own to consider and be able to back it up.

Don’t wave that knife at me, boy. I castrate when we brand, throw the “mountain oysters” on the fire AND eat them, dirt and all. You probably don’t want to go there.

Don’t threaten to steal my pickup. I work for a living, so have insurance. The chances of you being able to drive a standard are next to none and there is no spare.

I’ve walked home from the back side of the ranch, I can walk from here.

You want my purse? Take my purse. It has little money in it because, as I mentioned, I work for a living.

You will find various receipts for feed and vet supplies, some dried up gum and the notice for my next teeth cleaning.

The only “drugs” you will find is something that is either aspirin or a calf scours pill but its been in there so long I’ve forgotten which it is.

Don’t threaten to hurt me. I may look old and fragile to you, but I can ride horseback for 12 hours, with nothing to eat or drink. I have been kicked, bucked off, run over and mucked out.

I’ve had worse things happen to me in the corrals than you have experienced in the little gang wars you’ve been through, and still cooked supper for a crew.

You may whip me, son, but you’ll be a tired, sore S.O.B. in the morning and yes, I will remember your face because I am used to knowing which calf belongs to which cow.

I’ll also remember which direction you went and what you were wearing because I’ve tracked many a cow with less information than you’ve given me.

You are not going to scare me with that little “Saturday Night Special” when I have a .38 in my boot.

You need not think I won’t shoot you. I’ve shot several coyotes and numerous rattlesnakes. I put down my horse when he broke his leg and shot my pet dog when he killed some sheep.

Don’t think I won’t consider you a rabid dog and go on my way.

Welda McKinley Grider was raised by a ranch woman, knows many and would pity the thug that tried to rob them.

April 14, 2008

Panty Hose

Filed under: General — Julie Carter @ 8:26 pm

Old cowboy said his very best horse was named Panty Hose.

“Why?” He was asked.

“Oh, pretty to look at and hell to get on,” he answered.

Lincoln County Fair Book cover art

Filed under: General — Julie Carter @ 8:24 pm

fairbook
The 2008 Lincoln County Fair book cover art has been donated (oh so graciously) by Western artist Zane Mead. Zane did a custom painting that will not only be the cover of the fair book, but will be auctioned off at the fair the day of the sale. Take a close look and you’ll recognize Lincoln County in the painting!

THANK YOU ZANE!

April 8, 2008

Call of the rodeo road

Filed under: General — Julie Carter @ 6:22 am

roped

By Julie Carter

Jess and Jim were legendary professional ropers, at least in their own minds and dreams.

In real life, they were ranch cowboys, thinking they’d work at that until the old rodeo road didn’t look quite so long.

They practiced practically nonstop, as in, whenever the chance presented itself. A good bit of that time, this happened when they were supposed to be doing something else.

The boss had lined the crew out early that morning. The job was to sort off several loads of calves from the mother cows, getting them ready for shipping.

When the calves had all been cut, counted and safely stashed in the shipping pens, the two hotshot ropers looked over the cows.

Jess spotted what he was hunting for and hollered across the pen, “Look there, Jim, that old cow has a horn growing into the side of her head. We ought to do the boss a favor and trim that up before it gets to hurting her.”

Of course, the good deed required roping the cow, but it was just part of their integrity to get the job done.

The remainder of the cowboys knew they would be the ones tailing over this big heavy cow, sawing off the bad horn, getting all bloody and very likely kicked in the process.

One of the hands came up with an old rusty saw from his toolbox. He made sure everybody understood it had been left there by somebody else since saws are not generally considered a cowboy accessory.

The cow was handily headed, heeled and the ropers were happy. The rest of the crew got her pulled over, the horn trimmed and the cow released.

While Jess was coiling up his rope, he spotted another one that might need a little trimming up too. Before it was over, they had roped about half the cows. These all had to be been tailed-down and something or other sawed off each one.

One of the cowboys who had been doing the cow wrestling told Jess he thought it was about time he started roping and Jess could saw off horns.
Jess gave him a shocked look and said, “Do I look like a carpenter?”

The fight was on, but when the dust settled, it had ended in a draw. It was also concluded that maybe the rest of the cows’ horns would be all right until the next time they were worked.

A couple of days later, Jess and Jim were told to go check some yearling cattle down the road a ways. While they moseyed that way, they noticed a number of fancy yearling Hereford bulls in a nearby pasture.

An ample-sized pasture loaded with horned bovine. In the roping world, that is referred to as entrapment. No true roper could pass up that kind of challenge. Jess and Jim decided to take a little time out of their busy schedule and get some roping practice.

The bulls had weights at the tips of their horns to make them curve down properly as they grew. After the practice session, the ropers figured that these horn weights must have weakened the horns considerably.

Several horns had broken, and some were just a little bent. They knew a bull never really needed fancy horns to get his job done and probably nobody would notice.

That Sunday, the paper had a big notice announcing a $5,000 reward for the culprits who had damaged the nearly priceless pedigreed bulls that were scheduled to go to the Fort Worth Stock Show.

Suddenly, that old rodeo road didn’t look nearly so long. Jess and Jim make a quick decision that they would rather starve at team roping than spend time as guests of the county.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect.

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